April 21, 2012

by Bobby May

This was at a house party at the beginning of 2008.

I forget who was turning 18 at the time, but I probably didn’t know who they were anyway. One of the few people I did know at the party was my good friend, Pete (follow Pete on Twitter, https://twitter.com/Pistolzzzz).

After about an hour of drinking and talking shit with Pete, I noticed a short, rather energetic blonde girl running around and carrying on. She was talking very loud, but I don’t think she was actually saying any words.

As she was rolling around on the grass, I realised it was probably impolite to stare, so I forced myself to take no further notice of this girl, and allow her to carry on, doing what she was doing.

I continued talking shit with Pete for a short while, before I felt the presence of somebody beside me. It was dark, and I was in the middle of conversation, so I didn’t turn to see who it was.

Thirty seconds later, the person was still standing beside me, and it was starting to get strange. Pete could see who this person was from his perspective, however I was still unaware.

Mid-sentence, this person suddenly grabbed my hand, and I was forced to turn towards them.

All of a sudden I was face to face with the mental girl from before, who had been standing beside me, and she was now holding my hand.

A second later, she placed my hand on her breast.

She then yelled at the top of her lungs:


I stood there. Completely still.

I looked at her manic, over-excited facial expression.

And then I looked down at my hand on her breast.

And then back up to her face.

And then down again to my hand on her breast.

Before I looked back up at her face once more.

And then I looked down at the breast for the final time.

I had no idea what to do at this point. The only thing my body would allow me to move were my eyes, and the girl stood there, smiling, expecting some sort of reaction.

Pete was still standing there silent, and more confused than I was.

My mouth finally decided to say something:

"Oh, okay."


The girl put my hand down gladly, made a loud noise and ran off into the crowd of people at the party.

I turned back to Pete, now laughing his head off at me.

To some degree I was proud of my reaction to this mental girl, placing my hand on her chest. She was clearly not in a right state of mind, and I decided to keep my distance.

Yes. I was very, very proud.

Though to another, entirely more realistic degree, I realised that I was completely underwhelmed with my reaction.

And then I spent the next three hours at the party trying to find her.

I never saw her again.

Have you ever taken advantage of somebody who was mental? Shoot me a response.

Actually.. don’t bother.

  1. bobbymay posted this